Am I returning? Yes… and no. I am not going back, but moving forward to a place I once was. A place where I belong. Now.
By choice. My choice. My land.
I’m moving again.
Remember this. Moving does not necessarily mean staying long enough to get comfortable. (As if “comfortable” was what I was looking for?)
Moving does not always come with a sense of commitment set in stone. Life is more like the flow of water tumbling rocks. Still waters turn stagnant. We must move, change, evolve, bloom. Surge and swell like water and waves fed by no more than a gentle stream.
So we move. It’s what we do. Or at least what we did before and are doing again. I can’t say it’s been a conscious choice. We did not plan for a short term move and back again. But I can tell you this. We are living life full.
As I look back on my adult life (and at 45, that can read “only?” to some, and “OMG!” to others), there are the facts. Moving happens. For example, the first three years of my son’s life, as a single mom trying to make it on our own, we moved a dozen times. Say what you will, it worked. More or less. We survived, if not thrived.
Sure, I’m looking to settle down. And our ranch is (and was) the most stable sense of permanence, of home, I’ve known. Crazy when you realize all the conflict and turmoil it came with.
And here we are. Returning on one hand. Leaving on the other.
We wouldn’t be living right if leaving was easy.
Of course there’s more to say. Another day.
Thanks for being there. Wherever your “there” may be. For I am learning this. “There” does not define you. I wonder if, if anything, it holds you back rather than sets you free?