A bunch of pretty pictures and one not so happy poem

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calypso orchid

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come back weminuche

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horses on pasture

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last light on dead trees

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pussy willow 2

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pussy willow

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reservoir flats

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rio grande spring

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tresjur and indi

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view from the office

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Thoughts in spring time

And the sun shines

and warms and

tells us it’s all ok

and we smile and

Look around as aspen leaves

open and green the hillsides

that otherwise remind me

of death

And the light is high and flat

and my cheeks burn

and we say, yes, this is how

it should be, but

something deep inside

is nagging and we try

not to listen but

it won’t go

away.  And then

we have another

glass of wine and wonder

if we can wash it

away but all it does is

make it louder and then

We want the rain and

the snow and the clouds and

darkness and want to turn

within and feel instead of

see and then we know we’ll

find what we are looking

for.  Do you know? I wonder

if I ever will.

~

8 thoughts on “A bunch of pretty pictures and one not so happy poem

  1. If you find that special place tell me where and how .We may never find it but will always look .Life goes on .
    Your Friend Don

    • Slowly but surely I’m getting it figured out, my friend Don. I’m not going to find it outside (though what I have found is pretty close). I will only find it within, won’t I?

  2. Yes, it’s in there, Gin, and it’s way more beautiful than we can ask or imagine. Meditation is the means… Though it doesn’t matter where I am, my soul is happiest close to nature. I listen to that and when gratitude swells, I know I’ve listened well.

  3. I lived in Fairbanks Alaska for 6 years, I moved away 8 years almost to the day. I have longed for the quiet of winter ever since. Your poem is beautiful, haunting and strikes a chord in me that, as I am reading, I feel my head nodding YES, YES, I completely know this longing that you write about.
    There is a comfort to the quiet, to the layers of clothes to keep warm, to the excuse it is too cold, snowy or dark to do what ever. I feel exposed now, I live where every day (practically) is sunny, my eyes and skin feel threatened by the sun and my soul continues to long for that quiet, dark, sunken space of winter.
    Over these past 8 years I have finally in the last couple years come to an understanding that when i long to find a cave, the comfort I find in the winter I need to listen deeply to that inner voice. It is offering incredible information that I am depleted, not offering my essence the best life I can. I am actually just dragging my essence (soul) through my life with little regard.
    As I notice this longing and do something about it, what every really feels right at the time. I find a peace about me that I haven’t felt in YEARS. It is a beautiful peace and I am so thankful to have some perspective and understanding of this internal longing.
    I am confident you will uncover yours, your writings are soul songs. Enjoy!

    • Wow, do you get it, Carrie, and a sort of relief to me to read your understanding and like experiences. I have not had time to think since I’ve been “back” and know that is what I need. Time. Thought. Silence. In the meanwhile, words pop up like poems like this and I’m quick to write them down, turn my back and move on because, you know, winter is over, and now is not the time, and that time is long ago or sometime in the future, and I think I can handle that, but then again, maybe I need it now. Little instants, no more than a moment, we grab, and find our place, our self, our soul. In the wind, the river, the sun on our cheek, the early morning song of geese and robins and maybe even a distant coyote. And now… back to work. For it is spring.

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