At first… we freefall

Beginning again
Is frightening.
In doing so, I admit and accept.
We leave the past behind.

I was comfortable here.
Uncomfortably so.
It will be a while before I feel at ease again.
Can find my way around in the dark of early morning.
Or along an open hillside in a white out of winter.
Knowing when and where the sun will rise.
The exact date to listen for the arrival and departure of the song birds
And know upon which tree branch they will hold tight against the spring winds.

Familiarity is a crutch
We grasp onto in our blindness.

Moving ahead
To where?
Do you know
Or are you as blind as me?

Being left
Being open
Moving on
Pushed away from the warm dark moist cocoon,
Finding yourself cold and exposed in the wind.
Outreached arms flailing,
After being so safely tucked within the womb
Of the mountain
Which I cannot say has nurtured me
But let me be.
Allows even this metaphorical birthing
This separation
To become my choice.

I await the call of the land
Forever listening for its soft voice
Like wind on the back of my neck
Through my graying hair, through the drying leaves
Or the vibration beneath my bare feet
Firmly standing upon fertile soil
Telling me I belong

I have yet to hear this song

4 thoughts on “At first… we freefall

  1. A new blog is a sign of impending rebirth.

    First one feels an exile in the place one has retreated to. Then one feels an exile in every place that one reaches. Finally one simply exists, for one’s identity – strong and sure after a long and trying road – gives confidence and security everywhere.

    Acknowledging the discomfort, the blindness, these are signs of maturity, of security in one’s identity. One is no longer fearful by disposition because what one has within cannot be taken away.

    Gin, I am excited for you. I wish you well on your journey, and eagerly listen out for your reports.

    • Julian,
      Your words give me strength and a sense of power that waivers too often. Words to refer to often, as the shoulder of a friend to lean on, when in need of calm fortitude. And insight – the reminder to look within. The answers are there somewhere. We must be bold to find them. You have been there before, I know.

  2. I am exited about following you on your new adventure .
    Over time you Bob & Forrest are like my family .Find your place and live the life you want .That will put you one giant step ahead of me . Your family reminds me of the pioners looking for a better place for them .
    You will find it .I have faith in all of you .
    Your friend Don

    • I shared your words with Forrest, as the image of the pioneer is quite timely for him right now, considering attending a brand new college in Canada… definitely continuing in the pioneer spirit. He appreciated your words, Don. So do I!

Thank you for your interest in Gin's writing.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s