Crack open like a fragile white shell
pumped and swollen in the warm early
chewed the solid river free
ravage the lingering white surface
like an eager lover
Grey waters, grey sky and a land of ashen hillsides
to patches of brown
a random quilt torn and worn with age
drown out the calls of the newly arrived
And the beloved trees stand a silent cold still vigil
Of brown branches and pale needles
And eternal roots entangled roots
Powerful in their ethereal presence
That can not be erased by tiny beetles
nor chased by a changing climate
entangled with those roots within me
the breath of a new season
So… about the goose.
A wildlife success story.
The pursuit of happiness is hardly limited to the human mind. I have looked deep into his warm brown eyes enough to know. He has been lonely, longing, wondering. I hope he is happy now though we may question both the importance we place on the state of happiness and the impermanence of an emotional state. In any case…
Rikki flew the coop. Or rather, the ranch. He’s down at Ute Creek with… geese!
I want to ride down there now to call him, have him fly to me, look deep into my cold grey eyes and remind me that yes, he loves me, he is grateful for my having raised him with love, kindness, care. But these things I already know.
When we returned from Argentina, we watched the poor guy endure big snowstorms and fend off the fox (after nights of trying to wake in time to “eliminate” the fox problem, I actually saw the bushy red fellow run right by that goose, both uninterested in the other, so I suppose they worked their thing out). We watched him do his best to follow his two and four legged family everywhere (you should see how well he now climbs cliffs and hikes through the trees). And still looking out the window from the warmth of my cabin out to the little feathered football in the snow, I felt a sadness and loneliness in him. Yes, in a Canada goose. Go ahead and laugh, but it’s true.
A few evenings ago, we’re out cooking dinner in the fire pit and I hear geese flying by. The first of the season. There’s just this tiny sliver of a moon and they’re following the river. Rikki remained by the fire with us, seemingly unaffected. Then the next day, I hear them mid day. Bob hears them while working down by the new cabin. Rikki was out on pasture grazing with the horses. Decoy, Bob has called him there. That’s the last we’ve seen of him. No feathers. No chance of a predator with my big beast of a barking dog out there with him. In my heart, I understand.
I’m happy but sad at the same time. I’m tempted to go check on him but know I should not. I should let him be. He is where he belongs.
And so am I.
Some things to consider.
My Ted Talk to Self for the Season.
Growing up I wanted to change the world. Didn’t you?
The two of us did. Said we would. Different ways.
Both wanted to change the shape of the box. Or perhaps it was the contents.
You said from within. I said from without.
You told me you’d work with the system.
Me, I wanted to free those trapped inside.
Neither of us were wrong or right.
It takes both kinds. All kinds.
But have we changed it yet?
I’m still trying.
I told you working within was Old School. The box is bigger now. Different. Everything changes. There should be no boundaries. Autonomy and liberation and expansive ideas. Silly me, you said. Maybe you are right. Maybe not.
Remember when I studied art? I’m remembering how it wasn’t until the 15th Century that we figured out perspective. We played with it, mastered it, and moved on. Beyond perspective; beyond Realism; beyond painting only that which we can see though the art form is something we look at. From Classic to Impressionism, Abstraction to Minimalism, Modern and post Modern. Where are we now? Evolving, always evolving…
As human beings we are constantly evolving – as a society, as individuals.
Those that don’t get stuck in the mud.
Try something new.
Look at those who have changed the world.
Those you admire most.
Are they within the box or without?
Chances are you’ll most admire those standing on the side you do.
How do we change the world?
Take charge, take responsibility.
Here’s a quick three step program to get you going.
I’ll let you know how it works – I’m on it.
Let me know how it works for you too.
Question the box and its contents.
Take a good hard look at what’s in there.
Clarity is powerful stuff.
Don’t accept mediocrity. Is good enough good enough?
Don’t accept the truths you were given unless they feel right, down to your very core.
Don’t accept the way that was if you think there can be better. Is the way it was the way you want it to be?
Don’t demand it in others until you can do it yourself.
Figure out where you want it to go.
And since you’re just working on yourself here, where do you want to go?
Who do you want to be? Now.
Not certain? Join the crowd.
Then be willing to step out of it.
Look around. Who do you admire most?
Be that person. Now.
Admiration – yes, even envy – is a call to action.
It’s not a green monster, but a great motivator.
What is it about that person that you want more of?
Rather than hate them for having it, figure out how to have it too.
Don’t take it from them either; that’s bad Karma.
Better yet, create it anew for you.
You can do it, be it, have it.
But you have to work for it.
I just read an article that said no matter what you read from Freud, you really can change your personality.
So, see? You can change something within you.
And if you can do that… then…
Well, let’s just start with that.
The article said all it takes is 12 weeks.
First, figure out what you want to change.
Then, figure out how you want it to be.
Then, for twelve weeks:
Actively be it.
Fake it till you make it.
In 12 weeks, it will be yours.
Right, we have to be realistic here. In 12 weeks, I’m not going to be 20 again. (Don’t worry – I really don’t want to be 20 again!) But I could be more, say, social. (Or maybe not.) Yes, I could, but I don’t know it that’s on my list of things to change. Being socially inept isn’t that bad. There are other things I need to work on first.
Choose something that matters most. Something that will make you feel better about yourself.
And if you feel better about yourself, well, don’t you feel better about your world?
So you see… in 12 weeks, you can change the world.
Just a little bit.
It’s a start.
What are we waiting for?