~
~
Bear tracks in the snow
on the front porch of the Little Cabin
he cleans up the last of my homemade cheese
sour and spoiled and I forgot to clean up
he steps on the bucket with which I gather wood ash
from the old cook stove
Crushes the metal side
and smears the mirror we keep outside under
which we hang wet coats
To dry in the intense high altitude sun
How many times have I see such marks
on the outside of cabin windows or inside of the old dump truck
stinking and smelling of last winter’s trash
who but me, my son wonders,
claps their hands in glee
to know her porch is chosen and shared
~
~
Wild enough
a rosebud
Ripe to bloom
awaiting patiently on my front porch
and all I need to do is reach
what I have been waiting for
may finally be here.
~
~
in my temple
outside
beneath heavy clouds
grey at noon
pink in evening
anointing me with soft snow
I sit back on hard rock in cold wind
and feel the bliss of eternal passion
in the wail of the still open waters
tears before the silence
of the deep freeze
~
~
Though far too much for me in summer
the crowds within a half mile of this dirt road
I have never found any place
As wild
as it is
in winter
Here
as far away from traffic and telephone
and gossip and a grocery store
from sound and synthetic stimulation
from humidity and heavy air
open trails and exposed flesh
far away from you
~
~
The wilds call
Here I have wide white wild wind
and really, I wonder,
what more do I need
maybe I already have
enwrap with
wind and white and wide open
remote, removed, far, far away
and for now I find myself
Here
Home
and am glad to find the world surrounding me
A world you know nothing about
and care for even less
or perhaps you have a picture
of where you once were that looked a little like this
But it wasn’t won’t be and is not
for this here and now what I see and what I do
Is mine
and not all of it do I chose to share
glimpses I allow
Open the door and let in the wind
with a swirl of brown leaves and white flakes of snow
and I may let out the smell of
fresh bread and warmth from the woodstove and
the sound of my boys’ laugher and
my dog barking and the cats purring and
my heavy breath and labored beat of my
heart as I have only just returned from
seeking out the last of the wilder beasts
from the big back yard a place where few remain
Where even big game seeks solace in lower ground
They say it’s the highest, hardest
place to hunt in the Lower 48
what I hunt
is just as elusive
within me
~
~
Winter here is a more wild, harsh and remote
place than any I have been to
any place I choose to be
though summers at times are hard to endure
This one was different
drought, fire, floods
evacuating all but us,
silence like winter
only it was warm
And we were waiting
in eerie silence
for something
more than flames and smoke
or the feeling that maybe it was time to leave
stuck in silence in a time there should have been children laughing
And the only noise you heard was
rumors as destructive as wildfire
I won’t forget this summer
and I can’t say my memories will be fond
Though you know how that can happen with time
~
~
There will be no ribbons for you my friend
only miles beside me
beside our horses
freedom you tell me you
need
spoken in loud barks
after a coyote
a half a mile away and
you’re hot on his heels
reckless they may say
but I see a heart bigger bolder and braver
than any I have known
at times I confess I thought to
Train him, teach him, subdue him
and break him like a old swayback horse
finally I have come to know
These things can’t be taught
and come only when we learn to let go
the wild beast that ran away
And when I awoke
on my doorstep he was waiting for me
~
~
I feel such a longing rising. And…thank you for living the freedom you give.