(photo of me taking photos of this beautiful land, by Golde Wallingford)
A shift in the winds. Perhaps it is the smell of horses. The grounding ritual, if I may be so bold to give it that name, of shoveling manure. The smell of a horse’s neck and soft touch of the silky spot under the mane. Doesn’t matter where you are. That side of the equator or this one. The smell remains the same. It does not bring me back there. But lands me here more solidly. Funny such a simple thing like smell or shoveling can complete you.
Arrived. Adjusting. Settling in. A beautiful world. Beautiful people. Overwhelmed with love and light, tears and laughter, constant noise from early morning roosters to the late night barking of dogs, people buzz about like harmless flies, music, crickets, birds sounding like a pond full of frogs, the pounding of horses feet on packed gravel, and a language I am trying so hard to understand.
At times I am a window, looking out, quietly absorbing, soaking it all in. Let it shine.
And then the gift of rain. Smelling of a different earth. Patagonian soils. Old and rich and proud. Arid mountains, expanding views. Here at the casca, so safely tucked into the trees as a home in winds should be, shading arms enwrapping. Sweet, sweet rain. Cleanse me of the past and pour me into the future as I float on the languid waves of here and now, these rolling hills as big and wide and open as the sea.
Rain, the song as sweet as the smell. Fat, swollen, heavy drops falling by the bucket full, each one dancing to its own wild rhythm upon the metal roof, rolling together to the puddle on the sandy earth just before my dusty boots, kicked out before me as I sit on the stump of wood under the eve just outside my new front door.
How funny to finally check in on the computer and remember back “home” there would be snow. It would be cold. How funny to consider how little time I have looked back. My apologies to those I love. Change is both overwhelming and self absorbing.
If it were easier to post, I would share more with you. The trip, tips on travelling with a dog, beautiful new friends beginning with Barbara in Buenos Aires, and here our dear Ginny, like the sister so many ask if we are, and Golde and Jorge and little Milton who is happy to play with my dog, the horses, the air, the culture, the language, drinking mate and taking siestas (I have learned are the best time for finding a rare moment quiet enough to write). The hardest part is losing my solitude. That is hard indeed for the intentionally lonely soul.
I am not big on looking back, though I want to share stories and details and parts of this story that I think you might enjoy reading. Where does each day go, as we sit down for dinner at the hour I used to turn in to bed?
It will come in time. Patience is the greatest lesson here. At least the most obvious. There are others. There will be more. More important? I try not to judge, only to learn and do.
The internet may or may not be working, and the power outs regularly. A reminder of my adoration of living off grid, and gratitude that we can connect over the internet at all, in Colorado and here in Patagonia.
This is what MS can look like.
To watch Ginny up on the horse today. Exhilarating to see. And to imagine the joy, the cup overflowing within her, being in a place she belongs, comfortably, confidently. Seeing her energy rise. Her posture resume. One could say a queen upon her throne, but without the airs and pretention, and in fact, a most earthy act indeed. The Phoenix with wings which the horse has given to us. Beautiful indeed. An awakening. A slow and gentle healing, if for no longer than the time in a place this woman feels a home, her self. In the saddle. And yet, I feel it is longer lasting than that. There is more. She is brighter, more alive. I see an improvement already in her, and I wonder how far she will progress in this positive directions. I am pushing her. Doing less for her on one hand. Standing up to her (I say with a smile, for we are two strong women that at times will butt heads in the most graceful way, with power and words, as we women are known to do). Forcing her to find more strength within, for I know there is plenty. Challenging her creativity. Encouraging her to walk more. To focus more (how like changing winds she can be). To keep direction and keep it positive and get things done. There is so much to do. I am thinking she should draw. Where is that peach with the leaves? She wanted to draw that. Creativity heals, she says, and she knows.
Enough. For now I sleep. I cannot absorb it all. Sleep allows time and space to soak it in. So here I am, typing away as my sweetie breathes deep and warm in the early stages of the deepest of sleep beside me, and I prepare to close down this fantastic tool called computer, and return to the most primal state I can. Sleep, wrapped around my sweetie.
9 thoughts on “A turning point”
This post is so full of life that I don’t even know where to begin. So many questions, so much left to say. it’s almost like even in this short time you’ve been there, so much life lived and a story all its own. I almost feel like I need to keep a journal of questions so I can remember to ask them all when you get back!
The photos spoke enormously to me. Here’s how it was when I first started looking at the blog…scrolling down, sky, rainbow, AHH!! is that, yes, that’s Gin! That kind of took my breath away because I didn’t expect it. Really neat photo by Golde. Keep scrolling down, Horse, Rider and Happy Dog!…is that Milton? Scrolling more, here come the tears. Gin, that photo, I really don’t know what to say about it. It’s just so beautiful (of course it brought tears) and the horses eyes, oh my gosh, he looks like he has something to say, well, no, he IS saying something! So beautiful. Then the next one, I’m thinking what a beautiful lady on the horse and then almost at the same moment out loud I say “That’s Ginny!”
I have so much more to say and so many unanswered questions! Thank you, Gin and Ginny, for sharing your lives with us! You are a blessing to me.
thank u for commenting…i was feeling so sad and down then went to gin’s blog and your comment…thank u!!! Giinny Tice Carrithers
At times I am a window, looking out, quietly absorbing, soaking it all in. Let it shine……..
That is the most perfect recipe for Contentment I’ve ever heard.
What a joy, Gin, to witness you safely landed and unfurling eloquence in an environment of rich inspiration. How wonderful, too, that you have discovered an inspiring woman through whom you may grow, and whom will benefit too from your unique eye onto the world.
I just ate this post! I’ll digest it over the lull! If that was an apology for leaving us all in place, forget it! That stage of every moment filled with newness and opening – it’s such a high. Ride it for as long as you don’t have saddle sores!
Please check my latest post, Gin…I’ve nominated you as one of the “Blog of the Year Awards for 2012”. Even if you don’t want to bother with awards (especially now!), I’d like you to know how much I appreciate your work.
Ginny here thanking u for your comment…..I am reading this post again to inspire this Ginny tha has let things bog me down…I miss the estancia and I miss Sky, my daugter and i miss english speaking friends…I meet with Gin Tues 26, oct. in Buta Mallin..looking so forward to it, but this is no place for a cripple….I must get Back on my Horse!!!if only 10 min. This post reminded me how it lifted me…someday I will try art again but no I am morning the loss of my hand and hutrting eyes…..onward…this too shall pass….soon I pray.
Ginny C – have you, by any chance, contacted Adam? Or does the prospect not interest you?
I will send you healing energy, too, but I know he would have some specific suggestions for some self-healing techniques.
Yes, about Sky…I was going through some of the FaceBook photos and there’s one with such beauty, such authenticity and such old soul innocence that I gasped. If I had stayed with my beginnings (I chased a business career), I would have had the delight of being similar to the woman Sky appears to be.
I’ve heard so often, “How did you have the courage to do that?”
The only answer I can give, “I didn’t have the courage to NOT DO IT!” I think Sky would understand.
Ginny, I send you the most loving and healing energy now. Visualize it as a golden blanket and become swaddled in it. Imagine the energy penetrating every cell in your body. Visualize every part of you healthy – imagine limbs that work, eyes that see, joints with no inflammation. After, imagine yourself in a shower of healing light (you pick the colour) and let it wash over you for as long as you wish.
It’s so beautiful to see Ginny on a horse. I never got that pleasure while I was living with her!
And I understand so well the butting of heads, the challenging of creativity! I hope you’re encouraging her to paint… a painter must paint if her soul is to be at ease!
Gin, thank you for taking on Ginny’s story, and the loving/fearful/joyful/tearful bundle of enthusiasm that is Ginny… best of luck to you!!!
gin…i am so down these days i had to read about myself to feel a little better…something is NOT working…rarely feel depressed but it continues…thanks for your words…xxxoo Ginny