Heavy rains, a comforting wrap about the shoulders of the
mountain. I walk the ditch tucked under
the wide brim of my hat and the soft canopy of trees with fewer needles than I
remember each year.
It has been a while since I could walk with her alone, in
silence and peace. Who would guess the
disruption of a puppy would have such an impact? He’s a different sort. Still after a year, we don’t fit together
like Alan and I did. I miss the silent
old dog always by my side companionship.
It will be hard earned, but it will come.
Or perhaps my feeling of separation from the mountain on
which I walk it is more than that. Now
that I finally know we are leaving. I
separate myself. I don’t allow myself to
hold on. It is not mine. Then again, it never was.
Without a new land, a new plan, a new place to be connected
with, I am incomplete.
Have I ever been complete?
And now August.
Middle of the month already. I
have trouble keeping track of, keeping up with time this time of year. I wonder if it matters. Subtle signs show me where and when. A change of winds, of season, of
sunlight. Mid day and the shadows are
already showing. Longer, sharper,
Morning and the first frost settles in and across the open
meadow of the Divide, replacing the weeks’ worth of fog and cloud I became so
accustomed to seeing upon waking, walking through the tall grasses soaking my
pants to above my knees as I lead the horses, two by two, from the comfort of
the highline tucked into the trees to their early morning feeding on the lush
The hillside is sprinkled with tiny gems hiding beneath frosty
leaves. Wild strawberries. I watch every step, often end up crawling on
hands and knees to harvest a handful.
Sweet treats. How
easy to overlook when we’re too focused forward to look at the ground before
us. Changing ground. Changing lives. Reaping the harvest while it blooms. What a pity if I had missed this.